Could've been me
by secrettrip13
Summary: This is my first story. Almost didn't even write it but the idea just stayed in my brain. Based on the song Could've Been Me by Billy Ray Cyrus. In my mind it is JJ and Emily.


It's not the same here. Not the same between the two of us, but I guess it hasn't been for a while now, not sure if it ever will again. What started off as a friendship quickly turned into love. However strong love is sometimes it just isn't strong enough. One year, six months, and thirteen days. That's how long we were together, how long we loved one another. Seven months, and twenty-one days is how long you have loved him. Today is the day I have been dreading the day I hope would never come.

_I hear you just got married  
Took a month long honeymoon  
And you were all smiles at the wedding  
And you cried when you kissed the groom  
_

Sitting in my condo I get the text that I hoped I would not get. The one saying you got married, the one where you said I do. I can picture it. You smiling and crying all at the same time. How beautiful you must be, standing there in your beautiful white dress, hair all done real pretty. The only problem I see is that it's not me.

_I got no invitation  
I guess the mailman didn't bring it to me  
But I see the whole thing in slow motion  
Every night as I try to sleep  
_

I remember the day you announced your engagement. How bright your eyes shined at the ring he got you at the ring you wore. Garcia was on cloud nine when you asked her to be your maid of honor. I remember the day you sent your invitations. How everyone tried to hide them when I came into the room, just one short it seems. I didn't really expect one, wouldn't have gone one way or the other. But the thought of how we went from the center of each other worlds to opposite ends of the world astonish me to this day.

_My buddy John said you looked real pretty  
And you acted like you were in love  
He said the preacher asked for objections  
And he thought about standing up  
_

The others excitedly talked about it. They said you we so much in love. That the only time you seemed more in love was when you were with me. Derek mentioned he thought about objecting but knew that I would kill him. Apparently the whole team had the same thought. Even Hotch said he thought it should have been us.

_I told John he must've been crazy  
'Cause you were just about to say I do  
He just gave me a wink and said all he could think  
Is it could've been me with you  
_

I was touched and angered at the same time. Though I would have loved to see his face when our entire team stood up to object, I would have been devastated by the look in your eyes. I smiled at them and they knew what I was thinking. They just all thought it would be me with you.

_It could have been me standing there with you  
It could have been me and my dreams coming true  
But those dreams move on if you wait too long  
It took me till now to see it could have been me  
_

It's amazing how you think you have forever to decide on what to do with your life. I wasn't ready to commit and I kick myself every day that I didn't have the courage to tell you just exactly it was that you meant to me. I guess I you couldn't wait forever, and a part of me is happy that you found someone to give you what I was too scared to give.

_I don't guess I ever told you  
That I went out and bought you a ring  
I even carried it around in my pocket  
Waiting to say the right thing  
_

I was cleaning the other day and came across something that at one time held so much promise and now is a reminder of what might have been. That ring was a part of me for nearly six months. It accompanied me everywhere I went. It was constantly there waiting for me to find what I thought was the right time.

_I pulled it out the other day  
But the diamond had lost it's shine  
Well I know how it feels 'cause my eyes grow dim  
When I think you could've been mine  
_

As I looked at it I realized that there is no such thing as a perfect time. Just asking you would have been the perfect time. I feel the hurt in my heart knowing that it will never be on your finger that I lost my chance to be with you forever.

_It could have been me standing there with you  
It could have been me and my dreams coming true  
But those dreams move on if you wait too long  
It took me till now to see it could have been me_

Oh I called her just in time to be too late  
You know those dreams move on if you wait too long  
It took me till now to see (it could've been me)

It could have been me standing there with you  
It could have been me and my dreams coming true  
But those dreams move on if you wait too long

I can't believe it took me so long to realize what I had in front of me. All my dreams went up in smoke and I can only blame myself. I don't know if things can ever go back to the way they were before, but the more I think about it the more I don't want them to. Before I ended up losing you, to someone who was willing to risk it all to love you. I would change things. I would love you the way you should have been loved.


End file.
